The Loss Before the Loss · With Angela Schellenberg
How do you grieve someone who is still here?
You miss the mother you used to know. Or you grieve the relationship you kept hoping you would have. They are still alive, and so much has already changed.
A self-paced course for women carrying living loss: the grief that can come with emotional absence, estrangement, illness, addiction, or a changing relationship.
Six written lessons · Six downloadable workbooks · Your own pace
Written course, with PDF workbooks. One payment. Educational support. All six modules open on enrollment.
A closer look
Which part feels familiar?
Open a description to see how the course approaches it. These are examples of course topics.
I miss who they used to be.
Illness, dementia, addiction, or other changes may have altered the relationship. You can care about someone and grieve what has changed.
Inside the course: Recognition names living loss. The First Losses helps you identify the smaller losses within it. Permission explores guilt and love alongside grief.
Explore the six modules →I keep hoping they will become the parent I needed.
You may be grieving care, closeness, or a childhood experience you wanted and never received.
Inside the course: The First Losses explores attachment history. Strong Too Soon looks at the roles you took on. Permission gives you space to acknowledge what you needed.
Explore the six modules →Our relationship has changed, and I feel guilty grieving it.
Estrangement, distance, and an uncertain future can leave you carrying feelings that are difficult to explain to other people.
Inside the course: Permission explores loyalty, guilt, and boundaries. Carrying It Differently introduces ways to acknowledge an unfinished loss and identify support.
Explore the six modules →What you will work on
Give the grief somewhere to go.
Name what you are grieving. Make an inventory of the relationship, roles, and experiences that have changed or were missing.
Explore the guilt around it. Use private reflection prompts to put words to grief, love, disappointment, and loyalty.
Choose what support looks like now. Consider boundaries, personal rituals, and practices you want to return to.
The course introduces ambiguous loss, developed by Pauline Boss, and disenfranchised grief, named by Kenneth Doka. It brings these ideas into everyday language, with room for your particular relationship.
Your course map
Six places to begin.
Every module includes a written lesson, a downloadable PDF workbook, and a practice. All six open together. Read in your own time and return when you want.
Module One
Recognition
Understand living loss and the grief that can exist before a clear ending. Find language for what has been hard to explain.
Your workbook: the unnamed list.
Module Two
The Body’s Record
Explore how you experience grief in daily life, including exhaustion, vigilance, numbness, and doing more than you have capacity for.
Your workbook: sixty seconds of noticing, with a seven-day log.
Module Three
The First Losses
Look at early relationships and the smaller losses within the current one. Make room for what changed and what you never had.
Your workbook: two timelines, then tracing one thread.
Module Four
Strong Too Soon
Reflect on the roles you took on early, the ways you learned to manage, and what those responsibilities have asked of you.
Your workbook: a private letter you will not send.
Module Five
Permission
Explore grief alongside love, guilt, and loyalty. Consider boundaries while the relationship is still unfolding.
Your workbook: a permission letter to yourself.
Module Six
Carrying It Differently
Choose a way to acknowledge the loss, consider what you want to keep, and recognize when individual support could help.
Your workbook: one personal ritual and a practice to return to.
A note from Angela
I know grief can begin long before goodbye.
I began losing my mother when I was seven, long before she died. I knew she loved me deeply. The trauma she lived through in her own childhood made it hard for her, and some of what she never got to process grew heavier over time.
My work as a licensed grief and trauma therapist, and my own experience of loss, inform this course. I wanted to offer a place to name what has changed, explore what you needed, and consider how to care for yourself as the relationship continues to unfold.
The course is written. You can pause, print a workbook, revisit a lesson, and keep your reflections private.
Angela
The Loss Before the Loss
A place to begin with what you carry.
Self-paced educational course
$397
- Six written modules, all open on enrollment
- Six downloadable PDF workbooks
- Reflection prompts and one practice per module
- Lifetime access, including future course updates
- Access to the free community
Written lessons, rather than video lessons. Fully self-paced. Live sessions and individual contact with Angela are not included.
Payment is processed securely by Stripe. This is an educational course. Enrollment does not establish a therapy relationship. The course does not carry continuing education credit. Purchases are non-refundable except where the law requires otherwise, because all course material opens on enrollment.
Before you decide
Your questions, answered.
My person is alive. Is this for me?
Yes. This course centers grief within a living or unfinished relationship. It includes emotional absence, estrangement, illness, dementia, addiction, and the relationship you hoped you would have.
What if I never had a close relationship with them?
There is room here for the care and closeness you wanted and never received. The First Losses and Permission include this experience.
Are there videos or live calls?
The six lessons are written, with downloadable PDF workbooks. This is a fully self-paced course. Live calls, video lessons, and individual feedback are not included.
Do I have to share my story?
Your reflections can stay private. Community participation is optional. You can read without posting.
Is this therapy?
This is an educational course created by a licensed grief and trauma therapist. It can accompany therapy. Enrollment does not make you Angela’s client. If you need urgent or individual care, seek that support before beginning self-paced work.
What if my grief follows a death?
This course focuses on living and unfinished loss. For support centered on bereavement after a death, explore the free grief resources or grief workbooks and journals.
How long do I have access?
All six modules open on enrollment, with lifetime access for the life of the course and future updates included. There is no completion deadline.
Can I get a refund?
Purchases are non-refundable except where the law requires otherwise, because all materials open on enrollment. Please review the format and course map before purchasing. You can contact Angela with a question first.
Start with a little reading.
If you would like to spend time with this topic first, the Living Loss essays are free to read.